


Goodbye

by kethni



Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: Angst, Forbidden Love, M/M, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22015051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kethni/pseuds/kethni
Summary: There was a sweetness in the ephemerality of it. A moment that passed without leaving any mark on the world.
Relationships: Ben Cafferty/Kent Davison
Comments: 8
Kudos: 6





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> For CrazyMaryT
> 
> (How did I not notice there were so many Ben/Kent stories?)

It wasn’t the first time. It wasn’t even the fourth time.

Each time was different.

Each time was the same.

Different places. Different times. Different people.

Same confusion. Same panic. Same terror.

Joyce clutching the kids. All of them red-eyed, tear-stained, dazed, and adrift.

Selina stunned. Lost.

Kent didn’t have the luxury of shock or fear. He had to organise the medics, travel to the hospital, tell Joyce, and pick up Ben’s duties.

He was busy. It was good to be busy. Busy meant that he didn’t have to think about it.

Ben wasn’t much older than Kent, but he was in terrible health. His heart was diseased. He was on a dozen different medications.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise when he collapsed. Kent had seen more of Ben’s collapses then his weddings. Often one led to the other.

This time was different. Everyone could feel it. Ben didn’t have the strength or energy to bounce back the way he had before. A sense of defeat settled over the ward even before Selina arrived. She had tried to ignore it. She was rarely alert to other people’s moods – too narcissistic – but even she knew that this was the end. As Kent stood by the door and pretended that he couldn’t hear, Selina pretended not to know what he was going to say.

Ben had been a huge presence throughout all of Kent’s political career. He had been wildly antagonistic at first. Aggressive from the outset even when Kent had been as polite as possible. Kent had ascribed it to simple insecurity at first. Ben was friends with Hughes and somehow that made him _less_ secure in his position. Kent had heard no suggestion that Ben wasn’t entirely capable and yet Ben overcompensated with open aggression. It had taken a while for Kent to realise that Ben’s behaviour towards him was more than his usual posturing.

Kent took a step away as Selina sniffled. It was too much. Ben was pallid and weak. His voice soft and his limbs shaking. All that was bad enough without him being wept over by a woman who would throw her mother under a train for a two-point bump.

Friendship with Ben had been slow to develop. Kent’s idea of friendship was not based on watching sports while drunk. Ben’s idea of friendship was not based on actual discussions of interests. The middle ground had been their shared distaste of the idiots around them.

Perhaps that was true. Perhaps the middle ground had truly been the brush of Ben’s hand against Kent’s. The look that had passed between them, unacknowledged, and unpursued.

There was a sweetness in the ephemerality of it. A moment that passed without leaving any mark on the world. Not quite forbidden fruit for that was something all too earthy and visceral. This was instead only what might have been, not what could be. It never could be. Without ever mentioning it. Without ever discussing it, Kent was sure they both knew it never could be.

When Selina had lost the election Kent and Ben had bidden each other adieu. They had known then that they would see each other again. Kent was continuing in politics. Ben would inevitably be pulled back to it. They had clasped hands, Ben had closed his eyes for a second, and they had gone on with their lives.

This was different. Perhaps the heart attack was just the push that Ben had needed. He wasn’t the man that he had been. Kent knew that he himself wasn’t the man he had been. Kent had thought that working for Jonah had been the nadir. He had never foreseen the depths to which Selina would plunge in a desperate attempt to win the election. Ben was a loyal man. Too loyal perhaps.

Kent knew that he wasn’t going back to the West Wing. Whatever happened with the Primaries, whatever happened with the election, Kent couldn’t go through it all again. He couldn’t go through it without Ben sneering and snarking. He had grown used to the sound of the other man there snoring late in the afternoon. There was something oddly comforting about it. 

They could sit and not talk about anything for hours. That was comforting too. There was nobody else at the West Wing with whom he could do that. There was probably nobody else in his life with whom he could do that.

Selina walked past him without stopping or pausing. Kent set his shoulders and walked into Ben’s room.

‘You forget your purse?’ Ben asked.

‘Thought I’d borrow yours,’ Kent said.

Ben opened his eyes and looked at him. ‘Oh. Hey.’

Kent came and stood by the bed. He clasped his hands together.

‘Did you hear what we were saying?’ Ben asked.

Kent shook his head. ‘I was checking my emails.’

‘Asshole,’ Ben muttered. ‘Who the fuck reads emails? It’s the twenty-first century.’

Kent put his hand on the bed. ‘It’s the twenty-first century, who has a heart attack?’

Ben chuckled. ‘Stick with the classics.’

Kent helped Ben as he struggled to sit up. The effort made Ben breathe heavily and screw his eyes shut.

‘I can’t do this anymore,’ Ben said quietly.

‘Okay,’ Kent said.

‘It’s different this time.’

‘I know.’

Ben walked his fingers along the covers until he touched Kent’s hand. Kent took a breath. After a moment, Ben entwined their fingers.

‘It’s been shit, Ben said.

Kent laughed despite himself. ‘Yes, it has.’

‘But some things have made it a bit less shitty.’ Ben still had his eyes closed.

‘They have.’

Ben sighed softly. ‘Joyce is gonna be a pain in the ass.’

‘She worries about you,’ Kent said.

‘Can’t fucking imagine why.’

Kent licked his lips. ‘You are a nightmare to deal with.’

‘You’ll be glad you won’t have me around,’ Ben said, a slight question in his tone.

‘It’ll be a huge relief,’ Kent said dryly. ‘I’ll finally get some work done.’

‘I won’t have to listen to you banging on about maths and shit,’ Ben said.

‘It’s a win-win,’ Kent said.

Ben squeezed Kent’s fingers and dropped his hand. ‘Yeah.’

Kent cleared his throat. ‘You’re tired. I’ll let you sleep.’

‘See you around, Kent,’ Ben mumbled.

Kent straightened his sleeves. ‘Have a good life, Ben,’ he said quietly.

The End.


End file.
